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Lessons from a life-giving relationship

Last year I had the wonder and joy of experiencing a life-giving relationship. If you don’t know what a life-giving relationship is, it is a relationship that can last anywhere from 1 night to 2 years (as defined by Lisa Nichols). It is a relationship that sparks a fire in you. It is full of energy, synergy and chaos. Yes, chaos! It consumes you and, as a result, has incredible peaks and deep valleys. Sounds intense. Well, I have to say it was, and I would go through it all again, even knowing that as it brought great joy into my life, it also brought intense sadness.


I’m sure you have all had at least one such relationship in your life and if not, then I am certain there will be one at some point in the future. These relationships are our wake-up call, a call that cannot be ignored, and in answering the call, there is the opportunity to learn and grow. As I reflect on this relationship, I have come to realise how much I have learned from the experience.

I learned that love can be unconditional.

I learned that a deep and powerful connection between two people can exist.

I learned that someone can totally take your breath away simply by speaking your name or with the lightest touch.

I learned that when you get the chance to meet that person, it is a mind-blowing and magical experience – sometimes beyond words.

I learned that I am capable of more than I thought possible.

I learned that fear can only hold you back for so long before you have to challenge it.

I learned to acknowledge what was holding me back and step away from it.

I learned that with support and understanding from the right person, anything is possible.

I learned that people do have your back and will support you even if what you are doing seems illogical and insane.

I learned that to move forward you have to let go (and I am continuing to learn that lesson).

I learned that people come into your life for a reason and once the purpose has been served, you need to acknowledge it, let go and move on (and this can be extremely difficult).

I learned that my heart, even though I felt it break, is capable of loving again.

I learned that I have to love myself first and foremost, and be my own best friend.

I am also extremely grateful.

I am grateful that the universe gave me the gift of this relationship and by entering into it I was able to walk down a new road, a road that I knew existed but had been too scared to take.

I am grateful that I had the chance to be this for someone else too because it was a path we walked together, even for that brief passage of time.

I am grateful for all the words we shared, the encouragement, the love, the intensity of the emotion, the respect for each other, the strength we gave each other, the time we spent apart, and especially the time we spent together.

But I woke up this morning with the understanding that deep down inside I had to truly say goodbye to this person. To let go, so I can move forward. The relationship ended many months ago now, but I have been holding myself back from moving on. I wasn’t ready to accept that it was completely over, even though it was for them. I needed time to process, and through all this we have remained friends, slowly becoming more distant as time progresses and our lives continue in their own way. However, for me that is challenging. I miss the space that we shared, the passion, the intensity, the fire, and I’d be a fool to think that could ever be reignited.

This relationship was life-giving. It birthed me into a new realm of possibility, into a way of being how I want to be without being dictated or told what to do. I don’t know if I can ever fully walk away from it. There will always be a special place in my heart for this person and the experience we shared. This relationship redefined my life and I can never forget that. So, as I let go, I set myself free once again. Free to follow the path of my heart and soul on this journey through life, because that is what it is. We meet some amazing souls along the way and they bring richness to our lives, and in doing so, we get the opportunity to meet others close to them. The circle widens and, as our lives are touched, we touch the lives of others.

And so, to this person I say thank you. Thank you for all the lessons that I have been able to learn from having you in my life and for the life-giving relationship that we experienced. I’m sure more insights will follow as time continues to pass. It has been a pleasure and a joy (and that is an understatement). I wish you well on your journey forward. With deep love and gratitude forever, from my soul to yours, it is finally time to say goodbye.



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